Monthly Archives: September 2012

Life isn’t always rainbows & unicorns…

Ever had one of those days where nothing seems to go right, that the whole world seems to be against you…that you’re God’s punching bag! Well, I had about 3 weeks of feeling that way.

Between problems with my car, house, & a savings account that was dwindling because of those two I really didn’t know how much more stress I could handle. Throw in the troubles that having a job naturally brings, bills that never seem to get paid & your body telling you its not feeling good…well…let’s just say my temper & my fuse were pretty short.

I prayed & prayed for some kind of break, some kind of peace, that never seemed to come. In fact, the stress seemed to heighten & I felt the most overwhelmed that I’ve felt in a long time. One morning I even had a 5minute crying session (okay, more like a temper tantrum) over the fact that I had burnt my breakfast toast…really???

I was diligent on doing my morning devotional’s, praying, & asking God to give me a break & it just didn’t come. And that, of course, led to more frustration & more aggravation. During my prayer-time I reminded God of his own words, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” (Philippians 4:6)…after all, they are HIS words…HIS promises…surely he’ll stay true to his word & honor them in my life. Okay, I knew during those moments I wasn’t presenting thankfulness & praise unto him, but why would I when I was going through such crap…crap that He could release me from & has chosen to pile more onto me. I was not a happy person!

Last Friday, September 21st, I had just picked up my car (after it was in the shop for 3 weeks) & was driving home.

“Stop & visit your Grandpa.”…the thought just popped into my head.

“No, its raining (like that really matters???) & I just want to go home.”…I’m sure I spoke this out loud because I tend to do that when anything pops into my head.

*Silence*

“Stop & visit your Grandpa”

“Okay, I’ll drive by & see if he’s home…it really wasn’t out of my way, but chances are he was probably in bed. After all it was 7pm & he’s old, old people go to bed early.

Well, he was home & wide awake. We talked about my car & the repairs it needed, I told him about the fight I had with my dad the day before (after he was done laughing about it he said, “your dad’s proud of his kids. He’ll get over it.” As only a man that has weathered many disagreements with his kids over the years can say with confidence). We chatted a few more minutes about my dog & when he saw me reach for my Grandma’s blanket because I was cold  he asked me if I knew what day it was.

“Friday…why?”

“Its been 6months today since Grandma died.”

“Wow…yeah, I guess it has. I didn’t even realize it.”

“I miss my wife.”

And with that statement I started crying.

I realized something in that moment that completely changed my outlook on the last few weeks I had went through. I foolishly thought I had nothing to be grateful for…I was so overwhelmed & stressed out by the problems of LIFE that I forgot that I was LIVING.

That’s always worthy of thanksgiving.

Life isn’t always rainbows & unicorns (although, my head is usually filled with those things)…sometimes its stormy weather & piles of smelly crap. But you’re still alive, you’re still breathing, you’re still trying.  God never promised it was going to be easy, just that he would never abandon you through the hard times.

The fact is, one day we’re all going to take our last earthly breath. One day, we’re all going to have to say goodbye to somebody that we love. In some part of the world, at this very minute, somebody is doing that exact thing.  As long as you’re still breathing, there is thankfulness in that alone. No matter what you’re going through, maybe even more so during the hard times, you need to be grateful & focus on the good things that God has brought into your life. One of my favorite songs (and one that I had never heard until the days leading up to my Grandma’s death) is by Casting Crowns called, “Praise you in this storm”. It’s a song I find myself constantly singing, repeating the chorus over & over just to remind myself that I’m not alone…even when I feel like I am. 

 

Life is so short…and it is so precious. And even if you feel you’re going through hell right now; that life is just beating you down, keep fighting because your life is worth it.

I miss my Grandma. I miss her everyday. She led a good life, but she also led a tough life. She fought “something”…some struggle, her whole life through; anxiety, depression…cancer. But she continued to fight. She never gave up because she knew as long as she was breathing, that meant she still had life.

So…bring on the stress. Bring on the struggles. Bring on the hardship. Because I know I can handle it. Just like I’ve dealt with issues, pain, & hardships before & have overcome-I’m equipped to handle it again & always. Life is stressful…life is overwhelming…but life is also amazing. I welcome whatever it throws at me.

Bring it!

bitchhallways1

 

 

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The Most Wanted

by Jacquelyn Mitchard

It seems like I’ve been pretty hard on my reviews of the books I’ve read lately. I’m going to blame this on my obsession with The Hunger Games series & how I now think that every book needs to be about kids killing kids in a post-Apocalyptic society where a teenage girl must save the world & choose between two (handsome) men…now THAT is real problems.

The Most Wanted had none of that Sad smile

It did, however, have a teenage girl that befriends & then falls in love with a (much) older man that’s in prison…uhhhhh, almost the same thing.

This is the story of Arley Mowbray (a name that I absolutely love!), a 14 year old Latino (the only reason I mentioned her race is because the author felt it was necessary to bring it up every other page) poor, Texas native. She has no father, a mother who has checked out on her role of being a mother, a playboy brother, & a sister who is (well) on her way of being a star in the porno business (not really, but the way she was sleeping with every guy in this novel it sure seemed that way). Throw in a couple of bad example friends & you have the making of a “good girl turned bad” kind of novel.

Only Arley brought the bad business on herself.

Through her girlfriend’s sister, she got introduced to Dillon LeGrande, a prisoner incarcerated for robbery & murder. They began a pen pal relationship (where she first told him she was a college student)…fell in love…and then married & conceived a child…all while he was still in prison (which, apparently, is perfectly legal in the state of Texas with parents consent). This is also the story of Annie Singer, the lawyer that Arley hires when the prison Warden will not allow Dillon & his teenage bride to consummate their relationship in the “honeymoon” trailer that is awarded to prisoners & their wives. Obviously, given that she conceives & then has a baby, Annie is a very good attorney.

Annie is currently in a relationship with another attorney, Stuart, but wants marriage/kids & he does not (I don’t have to tell you that she finds love outside that relationship, gets pregnant…blah blah blah…if you’ve read my other reviews you’ll realize how much I hate to read adultery in my novels). Annie “adopts” Arley & her baby & ultimately puts them on the right course for a semi-stable future.

That’s the short summary of a 400 page novel.

Now while, I do have some small sympathy for Arley, & I can totally understand how one lie can steamroll into something beyond your control…her character bugged the bejeebees out of me. I know the author wrote her dialect & tone to sound like a 14 year old girl…but for crying out loud…the whole novel focused on how “mature” & “responsible” Arley was…what 14 year old girl falls in love with a prison inmate, has his baby, & everybody’s fine with it???? Huh??? And you must be a damn good attorney, Annie, to get a roomful of juror’s & a judge to sign off on a 30year old man having sex with a 14 year old child (even if it was his legal wife) & reading the courtroom dialogue, I didn’t think she was all that great! I thought Arley was vindictive, manipulative, rude, & arrogant (exactly what 14 year old girls are!), & Annie wanted to be a mom so badly that she overlooked her best judgment.

The big climax at the end of the novel, in which Dillon broke out of jail, murdered & arsoned his way back into Arley’s life wasn’t all that great. 400 pages foreshadowed (as the prologue started off with Arley talking about this horrendous “fire”) & I didn’t even realize that was the big climax of the novel while reading it…that’s how un-climactic it was.

I’m just frustrated with the books I’m reading lately…there just not good. And I’m all for a (little) bit of romance in my novels, but enough with the cheating on partners. Any suggestions on decent books???

3/5 stars on Goodreads

goodreads review: goodreads.com/careydhenderson

mostwanted

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My Princess…

For all God’s Princess’s out there that need a reminder. Remember He’s working behind the scenes to bring you great love & always has your heart in the palm of his hands (even when it seems like its taking soooooo long).

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Filed under *SMILE*, Faith & God, Fun-ness Aplenty!, Inspiration