There’s a very specific prayer request that’s been on my heart for awhile now. It’s been heavy for so long that I’m beginning to have serious doubts that I’ll ever see it come to pass. Once doubt starts settling in, it can quickly turn into fading expectancy & you begin to feel a loss of hope. In my opinion, I think the worst thing you can do to someone is ignore them & when you feel like your prayers are being ignored by God, its hard for your faith not to feel tested. Even when you recognize that a trial is only temporary, when that stretches from days to weeks, months & years your peace slips away & is replaced by anger, bitterness, & disappointment.
After all, God knows your hurts & why your tears fall & you feel abandoned when he’s choosing to do nothing about it; He’s choosing to make you go through the desert & from your perspective, it looks like there’s no end in sight. It’s a tough spot to be in. I even changed my prayer up by asking God to take the desire away from me if it wasn’t in his plan for my life because the wish of every morning thinking, “maybe today” & the disappointment of saying, “maybe tomorrow” when my head hit the pillow at night was to much to bear. For some reason, the last couple months have been especially difficult & my frustrations have been at an all-time high. I just didn’t know how to pray anymore for what was on my heart, I couldn’t understand why it was taking so long & I started to blame myself. I actually started to believe that I was being punished, that the Lord of all creation was so angry & unforgiving at my past sins that he was punishing me.
How ridiculous is that?
For several weeks there had been a person from my church that popped into my mind all the time. I knew she was someone I had to contact about this prayer request, but contacting her would require me getting over my pride & admitting my own fears, my own vulnerabilities…admitting that I’m not as together & healed that I sometimes pretend to be. Although, I have a lot of respect for this person I wouldn’t freely say she’d be someone I’d automatically turn to when something was troubling me. But she repeatedly kept coming to mind & I knew God was directing me to her. Eventually I did contact her & I now know she was exactly the person I needed to reach out to. Not only is she a person of her word, but she is a person of THE WORD. I know that she prayed for me because I felt a peacefulness that she did & I know that when she said a scripture popped into her head just prior to me contacting her & she knew that it was for me. That can’t be explained by anything other than God’s guidance & direction.
I’d love to say that my prayer has been answered, I can’t. But I know that it will. I do feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders now & its because I’m not fighting this battle on my own. Sometimes reaching out & just admitting your weaknesses & having people pray for you…really pray for you with hearts raised up to God asking on your behalf…can fill you with quiet & calmness. It’s sometimes stepping back, taking in a deep breath, & reminding yourself that God hasn’t forgotten about you & whether he answers your prayer with a “yes” or a “no”, its recognizing that everything’s going to be okay. That he has your best interest at heart & won’t abandon you. Its knowing that regardless of how many times you’ve prayed for something, he remembers the very first time you prayed for it & has already set in motion the right time for that prayer to come to pass.
And Sometimes its reminding yourself that your in the middle of your testimony & it may last 2hours or 2years, but he will bring you out of the desert.
I’m still in the middle of my testimony, even though I thought I was done…I’m not. Even though I thought I had forgiven…I realize I’m still not there yet. Even though I think I’m ready for my prayer to come to pass, God is still “training” me. He’s telling me its not my time yet, that I’m not ready, that the situation isn’t ready yet. Above all, I believe he’s teaching me patience, trust, forgiveness…and the powers of love (all of those are not my strong suits!).
When people ask for prayer….don’t just say you’ll pray for them, actually do it. When someone has been on your heart, even if you have no idea why, just lift them up in prayer. You have absolutely no idea how much your prayer could move mountains in their life. Maybe not instantly, but its giving God the opportunity to move. And your prayer may be part of a much bigger plan in someone’s life & in yours.
Be known as someone who has conversations with God.