I can say with absolute certainty that at this point in my life I would answer “YES”. The answer to that question wouldn’t always have been so. I’ve been pretty open about my struggles with different behavior & addiction and as much as I’d love to say I’m completely healed from temptation you’d be singing the,”liar liar pants on fire” song to me at that.
Anybody who has ever tried to “move on” or “get over” someone from their past will relate to this next comment: social media sucks when it comes to moving on! From anything! The availability to Facebook stalk, Instagram browse or be Twitter nosey is a real struggle to put the past completely behind you.
Don’t do it! Let me repeat myself: DON’T DO IT!!!!!!!
The other night (okay, I admit it…I had a few glasses of wine which aided in my weakened self-control) I Facebook stalked a few people from my past. After several months, closer to a year, of not knowing what they were up to I fell victim to noseiness. What resulted was exactly what you’d expect to result: jealousy, bitterness, self-pity & basically having a cry-my-eyes-out, “why does this bother me” moment (which then resulted in more wine & feeling the need to exasperate the crying by watching The Notebook & singing at the top of my lungs to some Patsy Cline). While I don’t feel such a tight grip on my past anymore, the fact remains that no matter how much you’ve “moved on” from your past it’s still there & it can still hurt.
The next day I was driving home from work, thinking about different stuff, when I suddenly had to start laughing. If this is the biggest thing on my mind, if this is the biggest bother for me then I’ve got to much time on my hands! People move on, get married, have babies, have LIVES that don’t revolve around you or your feelings. Hell, I’ve certainly got a life that doesn’t revolve around anyone from my past, why should I assume that they don’t have the same!
Which brings me to my point: Be your own Best Friend.
Be the type of person you want to be friends with. House behavior, attitudes & beliefs that you look for in others. Hold yourself accountable for bad behavior & praise yourself for good. Be loyal to yourself & be your biggest cheerleader. Make yourself laugh when you need to & allow yourself to cry & vent when you need to. I’m not saying that you don’t need friends because you most certainly need people in your life that you can rely on, hang out with & support one another. But at the end of the day when you’re alone & you’re the only company you have; what you say to yourself is what determines how you’ll run your race. People can run with you, can support you from the sidelines, can even push & carry you when need be…but only you can cross the finish line!
One thing that everyone has is an opinion & advice on what OTHERS should be doing. Sometimes take your own advice! If you’ve been drinking wine & get the urge to start looking up Instagram pictures, think about what you would tell a friend if they called you & said they were feeling tempted to be nosey. If you know your actions are going to create negative effects for you, make a different decision. I know this comes as a shock (it does to me!) but sometimes things truly are not ANY OF YOUR BUSINESS! Respect that. Don’t be “that” person. Treat yourself how you want others to treat you.
We’re all flawed, even people who don’t think they are….are. Trust is difficult for me, chances are it probably always will be. I love the Lord, but I struggle with trusting in his plan & will for my life. It’s difficult to stay in faith when your prayer requests don’t seem to get answered, but at the end of the day I know what the Lord wants me to do/not do. And usually when I choose to make a decision & act in a behavior that goes against what He does not want for me I end up falling flat.