Category Archives: Words…

Father’s Day-cancer, God & a fundraiser

Today is Father’s Day & I’m thinking about two guys that are dear to me.

One is my dad & the other is my youngest brother, Luke.

Dad & Luke, 2012

Dad & Luke, 2012

My dad has stage 4 Colon cancer that has spread to various other locations throughout his body, he has been battling cancer for the last 2yrs. My youngest brother is only 21 & was diagnosed with Liver Cancer in October, 2014.

Needless to say, our family has been hit with a lot these past few years, but we’ve really been tested the last several months. It seems like there’s been more lows than highs; surgeries, radiation, chemotherapy, insanely high medical bills, side effects from medications & let’s not forget the stress, arguments & not-so-friendly-100%-of-the-time attitude that comes from dealing with such a turbulent time.

Many of you dear readers, are personal friends/family of mine & have been following my family’s struggle these last few years & I am very grateful for your friendship & prayers. You have poured blessings & love on my family that has not gone unnoticed. There isn’t a day that goes by when somebody doesn’t ask me how everything is going & reminding me that they’re supporting us through this time.

Several months ago, over a couple of beers at a local bar, a friend of mine asked me, “How do you feel God in your life when you’re being hit so hard right now?” I had never been asked this & didn’t quite know how to respond. I reflected on this on for a while & the answer was right in front of my face.

Because He’s my Father…

I’ve been so incredibly blessed to have an earthly Father that is just a great Dad. No matter what I have ever done in my life, he has always forgiven me. He has always loved me regardless of choices I have made, even if he didn’t agree with them (like wanting to drop out of college to join the circus. Which fortunately I decided against). I was a handful growing up & probably even more of a handful as an adult…but he was & is, the perfect Dad to raise me. The person that God has created me to be couldn’t have happened without me being the daughter of the man hand-picked for that role.

Who doesn't love color time with their dad?? 1984

Who doesn’t love color time with their dad?? 1984

I view God in a similar manner. My father is a reflection of my Father in heaven. Both have never abandoned me & never will. That is the reason I feel God’s presence through this trail because at the end of the day, I know that I’m not going through it alone.

On Saturday, July 18th German’s Villa in Vermilion, Ohio will be hosting a fundraiser in my brother, Luke’s, honor. It’s a chance to help raise money to pay for some medical bills that have piled up. I’d love it if everyone could attend. Aside from the fact that it’s a great cause, for a kid that I love more than anything (even more than my dog!) it’ll be a fun night hanging out with the Henderson’s. They’ll be a Taco Bar, cash bar, 50/50 raffles, gun & professional photo shoot raffle, music & tons of basket raffles. Tickets are $20 each (gun raffle tickets are $10) & you can contact me via email: cdhenderson819@gmail.com, Facebook, or just shoot me a text/call & I’ll make sure you get tickets. If you’d like to support Luke in another way, you can visit the GoFund account that’s linked to make a donation. http://www.gofundme.com/wemc25d

Honor all the “Dad’s” in your life today! Let them know how important they are & thank them for standing by you. There will come a day when you’re facing a world without them in it.

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I want feet like a deer, reflections from Pslam 18:33

If you read my blog from a couple weeks ago (and I KNOW all you fine readers have, right? but in case you missed it: Ready for a slow down, reflections from Psalm 90) then you’re already aware that I’ve been doing a self-study in the book of Psalm. A book that I’m falling in love with because it’s so musically written & “flowy” (is “flowy” a word??? Who knows? but I dig it!). While studying chapter 18 this scripture leapt out at me…

“He makes my feet like the feet of deer, and sets me on my high places”

-Psalm 18:33-(NKJV)

**By the way** Don’t cha’ totally love my word play??? leapt/deer…get it??? Smooth!

Anyways, (refocus) If I have read this scripture before, I’ve never noticed it. It’s pretty unassuming, but to an animal-studied-nerd, like myself, wow…this is a good one!

Deer feet. No doubt you don’t have to be in student loan debt to realize that, yeah, deer feet are important to deer. But do you know that, hands down, hooves are the MOST IMPORTANT part of deer anatomy??? untitled

Deer are flight animals, meaning they run from perceived danger, they’re lovers not fighters. Those skinny little toothpick legs carry a few hundred pounds gracefully at 40mph; they can leap about 8 feet high & the hooves are designed in such a way that they take the brunt of all that force. Pretty impressive, huh??

Without getting too technical & for the sake of this blog illustration, let’s break the hoof down into two simple parts; we’ll call it the “outer” & the “bottom” (creative, thank you very much). Most people know that deer are cloven hooved animals, meaning they have two toes, not one single toe-like a horse. God in his infinite wisdom designed them that way knowing the wide variety of terrain they’d be covering. That design allows them to cover everything from swimming in deep water, to scaling a mountain. The hard outer wall of the hoof is made of keratin (the same stuff as your fingernails) this helps them claw, paw, dig & fight; bottom part is a soft, spongy material that helps them grip slippery surfaces. Pretty cool that when you see a herd of deer running & leaping, they really don’t know what’s on the other side of those leaps, but rarely do they slip & fall. Flight animals cannot survive without their legs, the hoof is the first line of defense to protecting the legs & in turn, the entire being.

I’m in awe of the responsibility that hooves have.

“He makes my feet like the feet of deer, and sets me on my high places” -Psalm 18:33-

This chapter in Psalm was written by David wrote after the Lord delivered him from his enemies & Saul (who was out for blood!). David was in a tough spot, he had no idea how he was going to get out of the mess he found himself in. He prayed with a ferocity & the Lord saved him, not in a way he was expecting, for the Lord didn’t rescue him from the mess but equipped him with strength & abilities David didn’t know he had…and he conquered & gave the glory back to God. The NET version goes,”He gives me the agility of a deer; he enables me to negotiate the rugged terrain”. You may not think you’re equipped to negotiate the rugged terrain in your life & it may look impossible, but the Lord has equipped you to be a conqueror.

So next time you feel overwhelmed, look at your feet & see yourself has having the feet of deer!

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Ready for a slow down…reflections from Psalm 90.

I’m learning to thin my plate. Trust me, this irony is not lost on me as I’ve been changing to a healthier eating lifestyle over the last 2yrs., but in eating & in my personal life…my plate is getting thinner.

I’ve always said that when I have too much time on my hands I tend to make foolish, destructive decisions. That fear has caused me to go 900miles a minute and since I’ve never been really good at relaxing I have a bad habit of taking on too much. A habit I’m trying to break.

During this past summer I could feel myself getting burned out. Between working 3 jobs (sometimes 4), worrying about family health problems, staying active in my church & community, plus the pressure (self-inflicted) that I put on myself to spend so many hours reading, working in the garden & house, writing, hiking, blah blah; my candle was burning up quickly & activities that used to bring me joy began to feel more like a chore. I started to have horrible stomach pains & my suspicions were proven true when, for the second time in less than 10yrs., I was diagnosed with a stomach ulcer. The threat of a possible surgery caused me to examine my lifestyle & how I can de-compress, de-stress, & handle my behavior in a less-destructive way.


I took a 30-day hiatus from all social media, quit one of my jobs, cut back on a busy social calendar, took a vacation (days of drinking, nature & laughs) and got back into reading the Bible regularly. At moments I’ve loved having a thinner plate; I’m reading & writing more, I’ve finished “one day” projects around the house, & I’ve met up with friends for lunch instead of saying, “we should totally get together” via text. At other moments I’ve hated it; extra time = my mind over-thinking & worrying about things that don’t matter, having to re-budget after a loss of income, & guilt over sitting down to watch a movie (I know some of ya’ll can relate). It’s been a roller-coaster of highs & lows.


I’m studying the book of Psalms this year. Even though I’ve read countless verses here & there, I’ve never studied it as a whole. Very fitting that Psalm 90 happens to be the chapter I’ve been studying during this season of my life (isn’t it amazing how God does that?). Psalm 90 is written by Moses; a man chosen by God to lead His people out of slavery & the wilderness to the promised land of milk & honey. After freedom from Egyptian slavery, the Israelites spent the next 40yrs. wandering the desert wondering when the promise of their “promised land” was to happen. Boy, can I relate to that! Psalm 90 is Moses’ prayer for strength, that the anxiety he feels during the “waiting” will be a character builder. That the Lord will teach him to “slow down” & value his days, trusting that the Lord keeps His promises & is re-focusing him to be better equipped for the day that promise comes to pass.

Something that I struggle with, and I have throughout my whole walk with Christ, is I don’t feel like I “hear” from God. Like my prayers fall on deaf ears. I’ve got many journal entries asking God why He’s ignoring me, however, many scriptures throughout the Bible refer to God speaking in a “still small voice”. If you know me personally, then you know that the concept of a “still small voice” is foreign considering I’ve never been quiet about anything! In the past, when God has needed to get my attention, he does it brick-wall style, by something so dramatic that I have no choice but to pay attention. I feel this slow-down phase He’s bringing into my life is so I can become better attuned to his direction & voice (and I just now realized that this very moment while typing out this paragraph).

At some point maybe I will learn that I can cause myself so much less-stress if I just trust in the Lord in the first place.

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Book Report: “WoodSong” by Gary Paulsen

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I love, love, LOVE this book!

I wish I had waited a couple weeks before I wrote the blog on my top 10 favorite, https://chapstickchatter.wordpress.com/2013/12/21/my-top-10-favorite-books-of-all-time/,because this memoir would’ve been on it! No idea how or when this quick read ended up in my bookcase, but I’m disappointed that I took so long to pick it up to read!

Not a big book, less than 150 pages, & I knocked it out in a couple hours on a snowed-in afternoon. WoodSong is one page-turning adventure! It’s the true life, hard-to-believe-it’s-actually-nonfiction memoirs of author Gary Paulsen (Hatchetf, Dogsong, The Winter Room, etc) & his life running a sled-dog team, training for the Iditarod.

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The first half of the book tells how the author first got interested in dog sledding; the trials, hit & misses, ignorance, mistakes that he made as his passion grew. This is one of the best novels I’ve ever read on wildlife conservation & the relationships between pets & their owners. The author wrote with such honesty & rawness over his own misunderstanding at nature & her unforgiving spirit. He also is openly candid at admitting his many failures, mistakes & ignorance at owning a team of intelligent, high-strung working dogs. The regret with which he wrote about at “ruining” some of these dogs over his lack of knowledge is something that, those of us who work & have worked in the animal industry, have seen first hand way to many times.

I was not bored or lost interest on any page of this novel. I laughed outloud in several parts describing his mistakes & how the dogs corrected him, I bawled over the words he wrote on the death of his favorite sled dog, Storm & I found myself saying,”sooooo true” in agreement with him over the ways in which man destroys wildlife & nature.

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The second half of the novel was about his weeks running the Iditarod dog sled race held annually in Alaska. A grueling 1150mile course through unforgiving mountains, backcountry wilderness & heavy waterways. Mushers & dogs work as a team to finish in less than two weeks time. It was fascinating to read behind the scenes on what really happens, the non-televised versions; deaths, hallucinations, sleep & hunger depravity, injuries, & basic survival instincts kicking in for both man & animal. I read with captivity. Truly is a testimony on what the body goes through when pushed to the brink of competition, with others & yourself.

If you’re a nature-freak, survivalist, animal lover, dog obsessed, conservationist or adventure seeker you’ll love this book! It’s a super fast, easy read full of honest & raw, non-exaggerated writing. The author is a natural teacher who simplifies his passion for readers & conveys his love for wildlife & environmental conservation, as well as, animal rights.

If I could rate this higher than 5 stars On Goodreads I would!
*WoodSong book trailor* http://youtu.be/xgIIs5peyLI

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My top 10 favorite books of all time!

….Disclaimer: this list is subject to change at any given time without notice depending on my mood & not-yet-read books… 😀

So this marks my first blog post that is being done entirely on my smartphone. I’ve always seen the WordPress blog icon on my home screen, but have yet to try it. Weather outside is reminiscent of the Great Flood, so seemed like an appropriate time to try it out. Considering my blogs are usually novel length I figure typing it up on my smartphone might shorten this one up. But since I’m talking about books I have big doubts!

My friend Stephanie recently posed this question to me asking me to name my top 10 favorite books of all time. Even though she told me not to put much thought into it & just spout them off, that wasn’t likely to happen since I over-think most everything especially when having to choose “favorites” #lifedecisions 😉

After much editing I feel pretty (fairly) confident in my chosen top 10. Honorable mentions go out to: The Horse Whisperer by Nicholas Evans, Suzanne’s Diary for Nicholas by James Patterson & The Notebook by Nicholas Sparks (wow! That’s a lot of Nicholas’ in one category). They were all so close to making the list, but sadly ended up second strings. Maybe next year boys!

In no particular order:

1) The Bible, by some dude I can’t remember his name 😉– within these pages I have found comfort, answers, tears, questions, confusion, anger, sadness, forgiveness, love, joy, peace & many other emotions. All spoken to me by God himself. The living Word that I turn to almost daily.

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2) The Loop by Nicholas Evans–my all-time favorite author. This is the story of a wolf biologist who is observing & monitoring a pack of wolves in the mountains of Montana & her fight against a town that wants to extinguish this pack out.

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3) The Cross Gardener by Jason F. Wright. About a guy who loses his wife & unborn child in a fatal car accident. One day he takes a cross to the accident site where his wife died & meets The Cross Gardener, a guy who travels roadways caring for crosses & memorials that people have placed at loved ones accident sites.

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4) The Tale of Three Trees by a Folklore– Kids book about 3 trees that each have dreams they want to grow into. Their dreams don’t turn out how they planned, but God uses them in mighty ways for His greater purpose.

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5) The Pillars of the Earth & World Without End by Ken Follett–these are two seperate books about the village of Kingsbridge, England during the 1100’s-1300’s. Pillars is about the building of the Kingsbridge Cathedral & World is about the village. Be prepared to devote some time to these novels, each is about 2000 pages long!

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6) Steve & Me by Terri Irwin–Terri Irwin’s autobiography chronicling her life with late husband, the Crocodile Hunter Steve Irwin. I was such a big fan of Steve & Terri even before I read this novel, but after reading it I gained even more respect. Such an adventurous life & I laughed, bawled & was humbled by this couple.

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7) Black Beauty by Anna Sewell–I have read this novel so many times that I can quote lines from it. First read as a kid & broke my heart so much that it stirred in me a deep passion for animal rescue. The whole novel is told through the eyes of Beauty & you go from loved beginnings to a life of abuse & neglect. Classic that everyone should read at least once!

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8) In the Presence of My Enemies by Graicia Burnham– true story of missionaries in the Philippians who are kidnapped & held hostage for several years. The grace, humility, & forgiveness that got them through their ordeal is such a testament to faith in God. After reading this novel it made me appreciate missionaries more & opened my eyes to how desperately I want to be a part of that front line of ministry.

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9) Heaven is for Real by Todd Burpo– true story of Todd’s 3year old son Colton & his trip to heaven & back after he died for several minutes during a surgery. Only book I’ve ever read that I actually called in “sick” to work because I couldn’t put it down & wanted to finish (shhhh…don’t tell!). Changed & in some ways answered questions I had about what heaven’s really like. Heard Hollywood is converting this movie to the big screen, anxious to see how it transpires.

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10) Where the Red Fern Grows by Wilson Rawls– another book I first read as a kid & have read countless times. Story of a boy who lives in the Ozarks during Depression-era. He saves his money to buy 2 Redbone Coonhounds & hand-trains them to be hunting dogs. Have the Kleenex in hand!

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There ya go fellow book-nerds, my top 10 (as of today any ways!). I’m always on the prowl for good books so pass your suggestions my way!

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Book Report: Radical by David Platt

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“Jesus apparently wasn’t interested in marketing himself to the masses”

This was the first line that I had underlined in the book, “Radical” by David Platt. A book that I was roped into reading by deciding to join the 2013/14 MTI (ministry training institute) program at my local church.

This line rubbed me the wrong way & thus started a love/hate relationship with the novel.

While the author, David Platt, had a lot…A LOT of ideas & key points that I agreed with, he equally had a lot that I didn’t. For me, the over-riding tone of the novel was how arrogant the author came across to me. I wouldn’t say that I’m a defensive person; I’ve accepted my strengths & weaknesses and when they’re pointed out to me, it’s often a trait that I’ve already realized I have. But I’ve never had somebody, especially an author that I haven’t met, so “in my face” & “you’re doing Christianity wrong”. In other words, he’s telling me that I’m loving Jesus & representing him wrong.

Not a fan of that!

I will admit, I am FAR from the model Christian. And I don’t strive to be. What I do strive to be is somebody that God can be proud of & that I represent Him well. Imperfections and all. This novel made me feel that unless I’m selling all my stuff & living a nomad lifestyle, floating between society to society spreading the gospel that God will look at me one day & say, “you’ve failed me”.
And I don’t believe that to be true.

While I do agree in living with LESS & giving MORE, I don’t think that God wants us to struggle in order to help others. If we did that, then we (in turn) would be the ones struggling & would need the help. And I also agree, big time, that God does want us to travel; to get out of our comfort zone and spread the gospel, however, I don’t necessarily think we have to go to foreign countries to do that. And somebody shouldn’t feel bad about not having a calling to go on an extended Missions trip. Personally, I would LOVE to go on an international Missions trip & I know that I will one day. But I also know that plenty of people are hurting in your own country, town…family. Sometimes things don’t have to be big & extreme, sometimes you can start small with the people closest to you.

David Platt, oftentimes, came off pompous to me. And that’s exactly what he’s trying to tell us NOT to be like, his whole novel was about humbling oneself & being a servant. And I agree with that, completely. But throughout the whole novel he told us what his church was doing; how his followers were making a difference, the letters he was receiving from those that have heard him speak…his, his, his. Yeah, we get it. You’re trying to be “Radical” & it’s working in your awesome Mega-church. But how about you leave your mega-church, donate all the proceeds from your book sales & live on the $10,000 that you’re preaching most of the world lives on (which I believe to be wholeheartedly true), uproot your family & lead them into dangerous & uncharted territories. My guess is he wouldn’t do that, and who can blame him? God hasn’t called him to do that. And he shouldn’t be faulted for living a “comfortable” lifestyle & not living a life that would make people question if he was homeless. However, my impression is that he wants his church-goers & readers to do that because that’s the only way you can be a true disciple of Jesus.

And maybe he’s right. I’m very limited on my understanding of God, Jesus & the Bible. God does want us to trust Him, have faith in Him beyond measure. And I know that I, personally, struggle in that area BIG TIME. However, I don’t think I’m less of a Christian or God is disappointed in me & thinks I’m a bad disciple because I take a step back & question things. If God chooses to bless me financially where I don’t have to struggle to pay bills, then I know he’ll bless me with knowledge on how/where He wants me to spend it. But until that time comes & I don’t have to pray ferociously that my income will cover basic needs I refuse to feel guilty that I don’t give enough. The season of my life that I’m currently in, is one where I’m learning to give up control & walk in faith. This is the season that God has decided I need to be in at the moment, I don’t like it. But I accept it.

The “Radical” challenge presented I like. And I’ve been giving it a lot of thought & praying very hard over it. I have not signed it yet because I’m not sure if I can give up a year to that dedication. Again, reading the Word, praying…no issue with that at all. But the giving up money for a specific purpose/going on a “missions” trip. I just don’t know if financially I can afford to do that. And I also feel there’s things that God is still weeding out in my own life & this might not be the right time to focus on a “Radical” challenge. If he calls me to do it, then I will. If I make a commitment to accept the challenge, then I know I’ll give 100% & I have no doubts that I will see dramatic changes, however, I’m just not sure if this is the right time.

In conclusion, this book gave me tons to mull over & think about. Which is, I imagine, the author’s main point. To get us “thinking”, which he has succeeded in. Tough book to get through and even though I never threw it across the room in frustration, I did roll my eyes at some statements. At a different point in my life, this novel could really spark a positive change in me, but at this point it only sparked me feeling defensive & closed minded.

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Standing in a Cloud of Witnesses, BreakAway 2013.

Last weekend, November 7-10, I was part of a Leadership Team that hosted a Woman’s Retreat for my church. After a year of planning, organizing, & praying I spent the weekend with 84 brave woman who decided to “BreakAway” from bondage & find freedom through God.

That’s a really quick, simple, summary of an amazing weekend.

If I typed up all the incredible things, changing things that happened during those few days my fingers would grow numb & crippled from typing. I’ve struggled with this blog for a few days because I simply didn’t know how to put into words ALL the releasing things that happened. Resorting to my elementary math-schoolin’ days, I’ve decided to keep it simple. When you start to throw Algebra & Geometry into the equation, it gets way to mind-boggling and confusing.

I’ve decided to reflect on one incident that affected me personally.

I’ve been pretty open, but not too open, about my healing from a sin that I was involved in a few years ago. My good friend & Pastor asked me if I would be able to speak about it, candidly, at our retreat during a Saturday morning Panel Discussion; in which a few selected woman from the church would open themselves up & talk about hurts that God has walked them through. For me, this would mark the first time I had ever talked about my deceit to a large group (really, the first time I had talked about it at all!) not only would I be telling it to strangers (which is easier), but also opening up to close family & friends. I felt ready for it, I knew the time was right to share, however, I was NERVOUS. Petrifyingly nervous! Now don’t get me wrong, I love speaking in front of people. I was the nerd in school that always did a little happy-squeal whenever the professor announced we had to do a speech in front of the class. But this was different…this was displaying my own vulnerability, weakness & a time I majorly, royally, messed up! (another term would be appropriate, but I’m making a serious, conscious effort to control my swear-words *wink wink*).

The week leading up to our retreat, boy did the enemy win over my peace! I was grumpier, angrier, and more pissed-off (damn! Double-damn…I WILL win the battle over swear words!) than I had been in a long time. I didn’t want to socialize, I didn’t want to be outside, I was resorting back to my stress-eating behavior. Everybody & everything was bothering me. I don’t think I cracked open my Bible all week & I prayed with a ferocity to quench my nerves, to give me strength…and that prayer never seemed to be answered. I was such a B****! I found out later that every one of us on the panel had the same kind of week! You talk about the enemy fighting hard for our kept-bondage! He won, in all of us, that battle during the week! And Friday night, my brain & thoughts were wracked with such an intensity that I thought I was losing my mind. I’m a dramatic person & all I kept thinking was, “this must be how somebody on death row feels!”, as I would lie awake during the night & see the clock slowly ticking towards my own form of lethal injection. I went back & forth in my mind on whether I could go through with speaking and my prayers (again) for peace seemed to go un-answered. Needless to say, waking up Saturday morning after a very fitful night’s sleep left me with a nauseous stomach & bags under my eyes. Meeting with the other ladies on the panel & our pastor, prior to starting service you could see that we were all emotional wrecks. When a group of ladies have already shed oceans of tears, before 8am! Something’s up!

Getting through worship was a blur & being on the Leadership Team I was a “table leader” for my group, thankful to a dear friend who stepped in & took over that role when she could clearly see that I was a train wreck! For as nervous as I was, when we were called to approach the center and begin our discussion I felt very calm. Okay, maybe not CALM! But calmer than I had in days. I was the second person to speak & I was so drawn into what the first person was saying that my heart broke for her. It was in that moment that I truly realized how broken & hurting every one of us really is. When it became my turn to speak I can’t recall being nervous, in actuality I felt more empowered & strengthened as my story progressed. There’s something so freeing about not holding back. About being at the point where you say,” This is me. The good, bad & ugly.” Through my tears, to look out onto a sea of faces full of friends & family and see their own tears over my words is so humbling. To not only share the hurtful things you’ve done & caused upon others, but to then be standing tall & firm (even at times if it’s shaky) before your peers & God is such a testament to redemption. Everybody…EVERYBODY…has troubles. I don’t care how deep or how bad you THINK you’ve dug yourself…you are not alone, nor are you the first to go through it. The key is to not stay in your trouble, don’t stay in your bondage. For me, the process took 3yrs., but after I confessed & talked about my pain I truly felt a closing on my situation that surprised me. I felt a peace & a lightness that I wasn’t expecting. For the first time since my brokenness began, I was able to accept my faults & be thankful that I had gone through the pain. If I had not witnessed, first hand, the destruction that I was capable of I would never know how fragile I have to be with other people’s hearts, trust & how lying can be so damaging. I would also never know what true, deep forgiveness, by others & the forgiveness of yourself, feels like. This experience is what brought me back to my foundation of faith & grounded me in how much my family & true friends support and love me. The aftermath of sharing my story brought support, tears, & questions from friends. Questions & stories that I no longer feared answering & telling and what amazed me was how many people, woman, also had been tempted to act in the same behavior that I did. And some had! Some even were currently wrestling with living lives that were different from their truths. See, we’re not that different after all! Although, God didn’t answer my prayer for peace in the way I was expecting (flaming out the stress I felt BEFORE I spoke would’ve been nice!) He ultimately answered my prayer for peace in a way that surpassed my vision of how my prayer should work out. Isn’t that just like Him??? 🙂

I can’t brag enough on my God. The same God I was dedicated to as an infant, the same God that I accepted to follow at 12 years old & then who lovingly welcomed me back when, as an adult, I came crawling & broken into His arms. The same God that allowed hurts to come into my life, hurts I’ve caused & some I haven’t, because he sees a bigger picture for my life than what my limited vision can. A God that I’ve cursed, fought, sinned against, hurt, distrusted, lied to & many times only prayed to when I needed something from Him. A God that repeatedly reminds me that I’m better healed than I would’ve ever been whole. A God that, after my own confession of sin to a roomful of woman & the redemption He graced upon me, brought me to my knees in thankfulness during a quiet time in which He responded into my heart, “you already have”.

I fail my God daily & sometimes lack in my repentance, however, I serve a God who is a gentleman. He’s a man of His word, promises & never fails me, His favorite child.

Hebrews12-1-2

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