Tag Archives: book club

Ready for a slow down…reflections from Psalm 90.

I’m learning to thin my plate. Trust me, this irony is not lost on me as I’ve been changing to a healthier eating lifestyle over the last 2yrs., but in eating & in my personal life…my plate is getting thinner.

I’ve always said that when I have too much time on my hands I tend to make foolish, destructive decisions. That fear has caused me to go 900miles a minute and since I’ve never been really good at relaxing I have a bad habit of taking on too much. A habit I’m trying to break.

During this past summer I could feel myself getting burned out. Between working 3 jobs (sometimes 4), worrying about family health problems, staying active in my church & community, plus the pressure (self-inflicted) that I put on myself to spend so many hours reading, working in the garden & house, writing, hiking, blah blah; my candle was burning up quickly & activities that used to bring me joy began to feel more like a chore. I started to have horrible stomach pains & my suspicions were proven true when, for the second time in less than 10yrs., I was diagnosed with a stomach ulcer. The threat of a possible surgery caused me to examine my lifestyle & how I can de-compress, de-stress, & handle my behavior in a less-destructive way.


I took a 30-day hiatus from all social media, quit one of my jobs, cut back on a busy social calendar, took a vacation (days of drinking, nature & laughs) and got back into reading the Bible regularly. At moments I’ve loved having a thinner plate; I’m reading & writing more, I’ve finished “one day” projects around the house, & I’ve met up with friends for lunch instead of saying, “we should totally get together” via text. At other moments I’ve hated it; extra time = my mind over-thinking & worrying about things that don’t matter, having to re-budget after a loss of income, & guilt over sitting down to watch a movie (I know some of ya’ll can relate). It’s been a roller-coaster of highs & lows.


I’m studying the book of Psalms this year. Even though I’ve read countless verses here & there, I’ve never studied it as a whole. Very fitting that Psalm 90 happens to be the chapter I’ve been studying during this season of my life (isn’t it amazing how God does that?). Psalm 90 is written by Moses; a man chosen by God to lead His people out of slavery & the wilderness to the promised land of milk & honey. After freedom from Egyptian slavery, the Israelites spent the next 40yrs. wandering the desert wondering when the promise of their “promised land” was to happen. Boy, can I relate to that! Psalm 90 is Moses’ prayer for strength, that the anxiety he feels during the “waiting” will be a character builder. That the Lord will teach him to “slow down” & value his days, trusting that the Lord keeps His promises & is re-focusing him to be better equipped for the day that promise comes to pass.

Something that I struggle with, and I have throughout my whole walk with Christ, is I don’t feel like I “hear” from God. Like my prayers fall on deaf ears. I’ve got many journal entries asking God why He’s ignoring me, however, many scriptures throughout the Bible refer to God speaking in a “still small voice”. If you know me personally, then you know that the concept of a “still small voice” is foreign considering I’ve never been quiet about anything! In the past, when God has needed to get my attention, he does it brick-wall style, by something so dramatic that I have no choice but to pay attention. I feel this slow-down phase He’s bringing into my life is so I can become better attuned to his direction & voice (and I just now realized that this very moment while typing out this paragraph).

At some point maybe I will learn that I can cause myself so much less-stress if I just trust in the Lord in the first place.

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Right Now: my reflections, obsessions & thankful’s in this moment…

Whew!!! What a whirlwind the last few months have been! From family health problems (prayers needed) to a change in work position & my MTI graduation I’ve barely had time to breath let alone blog.

It’s always nice to have a few blog ready-made-ideas when you only have a few moments to spout out a few words, so my fail-safe this week is a “Right Now” installment. My blog
idea topics are pretty tapped out at the moment, so if you’ve got any suggestions I’m open!

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1.)I’m currently reading, watching & listening to… Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte-this was my selection for May’s Book Club read so I feel obligated to finish it, but truth be told it is PAINFUL to get through!!! Recently went & saw Heaven is for Real in the theatre. Loved it! Followed the book beautifully (some parts were uber-cheesy), but the message was gracefully delivered. And latest music obsessed song, Give me back my Hometown by Eric Church. I’m not even really sure how much I like this song because the lyrics kinda don’t make sense (and the music video was even more confusing) but it’s been in my head for days & the chorus is super catchy–http://youtu.be/l5DnNxDTjbQ

2.) I’m worried about… my Dad’s cancer. It’s spreading & outlook’s not the most positive despite best efforts. But God is good (and forgiving) & I do have faith that His will is always right & this is just a bump towards a greater purpose.

3.) I’m improving myself by… Book Club!!! Me & a few book nerd friends have started a monthly book club. Although we’ve been off to a rough start with some of our selections sucking big time (*cough Tale of Two Cities…*cough Wuthering Heights*) we’ve all hung in there! We’re all so geeked up over reading that others have shown interest to join. Like I said, we’re making reading cool again 😉

4.) I’m excited about… Nerd-alert flash again…but summer gardening. Mother Nature just needs to cooperate & provide some solid warm days with no thunderstorms or cold nights so I can get all my seed starters (which are taking off like crazy!) moved out of my sunroom into the dirt outside!

5.) I’m grateful to God for & asking for forgiveness because… I’ve gained back 15#’s over the winter from my last year. Since my 5k last September I haven’t been out running at all & never kept up with my yoga classes. Recently I’ve got back on track with a running schedule, joined yoga again & have dove in deeper & becoming even more strict with eating habits. So grateful that my daily prayer of strength & endurance is being answered (even though I accidentally fell asleep on the couch after work tonight & missed yoga). I ask forgiveness everyday, today it was because I lost my patience & acted snotty towards someone that probably couldn’t help their behavior. I’m forever a work in progress…

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