Right Now: my reflections, obsessions & thankful’s in this moment…

Whew!!! What a whirlwind the last few months have been! From family health problems (prayers needed) to a change in work position & my MTI graduation I’ve barely had time to breath let alone blog.

It’s always nice to have a few blog ready-made-ideas when you only have a few moments to spout out a few words, so my fail-safe this week is a “Right Now” installment. My blog
idea topics are pretty tapped out at the moment, so if you’ve got any suggestions I’m open!

1.)I’m currently reading, watching & listening to… Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte-this was my selection for May’s Book Club read so I feel obligated to finish it, but truth be told it is PAINFUL to get through!!! Recently went & saw Heaven is for Real in the theatre. Loved it! Followed the book beautifully (some parts were uber-cheesy), but the message was gracefully delivered. And latest music obsessed song, Give me back my Hometown by Eric Church. I’m not even really sure how much I like this song because the lyrics kinda don’t make sense (and the music video was even more confusing) but it’s been in my head for days & the chorus is super catchy–http://youtu.be/l5DnNxDTjbQ

2.) I’m worried about… my Dad’s cancer. It’s spreading & outlook’s not the most positive despite best efforts. But God is good (and forgiving) & I do have faith that His will is always right & this is just a bump towards a greater purpose.

3.) I’m improving myself by… Book Club!!! Me & a few book nerd friends have started a monthly book club. Although we’ve been off to a rough start with some of our selections sucking big time (*cough Tale of Two Cities…*cough Wuthering Heights*) we’ve all hung in there! We’re all so geeked up over reading that others have shown interest to join. Like I said, we’re making reading cool again 😉

4.) I’m excited about… Nerd-alert flash again…but summer gardening. Mother Nature just needs to cooperate & provide some solid warm days with no thunderstorms or cold nights so I can get all my seed starters (which are taking off like crazy!) moved out of my sunroom into the dirt outside!

5.) I’m grateful to God for & asking for forgiveness because… I’ve gained back 15#’s over the winter from my last year. Since my 5k last September I haven’t been out running at all & never kept up with my yoga classes. Recently I’ve got back on track with a running schedule, joined yoga again & have dove in deeper & becoming even more strict with eating habits. So grateful that my daily prayer of strength & endurance is being answered (even though I accidentally fell asleep on the couch after work tonight & missed yoga). I ask forgiveness everyday, today it was because I lost my patience & acted snotty towards someone that probably couldn’t help their behavior. I’m forever a work in progress…

Book Report: “WoodSong” by Gary Paulsen

I love, love, LOVE this book!

I wish I had waited a couple weeks before I wrote the blog on my top 10 favorite, https://chapstickchatter.wordpress.com/2013/12/21/my-top-10-favorite-books-of-all-time/,because this memoir would’ve been on it! No idea how or when this quick read ended up in my bookcase, but I’m disappointed that I took so long to pick it up to read!

Not a big book, less than 150 pages, & I knocked it out in a couple hours on a snowed-in afternoon. WoodSong is one page-turning adventure! It’s the true life, hard-to-believe-it’s-actually-nonfiction memoirs of author Gary Paulsen (Hatchetf, Dogsong, The Winter Room, etc) & his life running a sled-dog team, training for the Iditarod.

The first half of the book tells how the author first got interested in dog sledding; the trials, hit & misses, ignorance, mistakes that he made as his passion grew. This is one of the best novels I’ve ever read on wildlife conservation & the relationships between pets & their owners. The author wrote with such honesty & rawness over his own misunderstanding at nature & her unforgiving spirit. He also is openly candid at admitting his many failures, mistakes & ignorance at owning a team of intelligent, high-strung working dogs. The regret with which he wrote about at “ruining” some of these dogs over his lack of knowledge is something that, those of us who work & have worked in the animal industry, have seen first hand way to many times.

I was not bored or lost interest on any page of this novel. I laughed outloud in several parts describing his mistakes & how the dogs corrected him, I bawled over the words he wrote on the death of his favorite sled dog, Storm & I found myself saying,”sooooo true” in agreement with him over the ways in which man destroys wildlife & nature.

The second half of the novel was about his weeks running the Iditarod dog sled race held annually in Alaska. A grueling 1150mile course through unforgiving mountains, backcountry wilderness & heavy waterways. Mushers & dogs work as a team to finish in less than two weeks time. It was fascinating to read behind the scenes on what really happens, the non-televised versions; deaths, hallucinations, sleep & hunger depravity, injuries, & basic survival instincts kicking in for both man & animal. I read with captivity. Truly is a testimony on what the body goes through when pushed to the brink of competition, with others & yourself.

If you’re a nature-freak, survivalist, animal lover, dog obsessed, conservationist or adventure seeker you’ll love this book! It’s a super fast, easy read full of honest & raw, non-exaggerated writing. The author is a natural teacher who simplifies his passion for readers & conveys his love for wildlife & environmental conservation, as well as, animal rights.

If I could rate this higher than 5 stars On Goodreads I would!
*WoodSong book trailor* http://youtu.be/xgIIs5peyLI

Book Report: Handle with Care by Jodi Picoult

Jodi Picoult is a favorite author, but the last few novels read have left me disappointed. Found Handle with Care at a Volunteers of America thrift store for .25 and after sitting on my bookshelf for several months I decided to see if (one of) my favorite authors could redeem herself.

The novel centers around the O’Keefe family & their life living with a child that has Osteogenesis Imperfecta; a severe disability where you have “brittle bones”.

I had never heard of OI before & I thought the author did an amazing job of explaining the disability. The information describing the disease & characteristics attributed with it was very thought out & organized. I can’t imagine being a person living with OI or being the parent of one; having to worry about a bone breaking because you sneezed or a pinky-toe break turning into a life threatening situation. Not to exclude the financial & emotional stress that occurs with the constant worry & anxiety.

The novel is reminiscent of another Picoult novel,My Sister’s Keeper, where the reader is forced to ask them self,”What would I do?” when faced with a morality issue. In this case the moral issue is a Wrongful Birth case filed. Wrongful Birth, at least the definition I drew from the novel, means had you been given information about a disability your unborn child had, you would’ve terminated the pregnancy. In the case of Handle with Care the doctor getting sued also happens to be the main character & mother’s best friend.

The novel’s chapters are each narrated by a different main character & told from their individual viewpoint:
▪️Charlotte: mother. She’s the one that handles the day-to-day pressure & struggle of raising a child with OI. When presented the option of filing a Wrongful Birth suit she decides to follow through. Her reason for it is that by telling a lie, admitting she would have terminated the pregnancy, will ensure that her now 5 year old daughter will financially be comfortable for the rest of her life.

▪️Sean: father/Charlotte’s husband. Only working parent & struggles with barely making financial ends meet on his law enforcement wage. Highly against filing the lawsuit & eventually becomes a witness for the defense.

▪️Amelia: Charlotte’s teenage daughter from first marriage. Feels like an outcast, despite having a great relationship with her step-father Sean. Estranged towards her mother & is very resentful towards her and the attention she bestows on younger sister. Develops bulemia as stresses at home increase and eventually starts cutting herself.

▪️Piper: Obstetrician & Charlotte’s best friend. She gets sued by Charlotte in a Wrongful Birth case.

▪️Marin: Charlotte’s lawyer. Takes on the case even though she struggles with the morality of the situation. During the course of the lawsuit she’s in the midst of her own search for her birth mother. Oftentimes, the two get intertwined.

▪️Willow: 5year old that has OI. Even though the whole novel is about her, she only narrated the last closing chapter.

My favorite characters in the novel were Amelia & Piper. Amelia my heart just broke for, she was screaming for attention & nobody seemed to notice. Piper just got the raw end of the deal. Such a good foundational character & I felt the author kept her integrity intact throughout the whole novel. My least favorite character was Charlotte; which I think is the author’s point, you develop a love/hate relationship with her because she tugs at your morality. You can see where her dilemma lies; her lying, selfishness & stubbornness but in the end it really is to benefit the life of her disabled child. When I first started reading the novel I thought,”there’s no way I could file a lawsuit like that” but as the novel progressed & the trial got deeper I found myself seeing her point. She lost a lot during the course of the novel & you can’t help but admire her mama-bear mentality. I also really liked that the author had her ganged up on in particular situations; the media protests, the parents of other OI children who called her out on her lying. They said the things that I, the reader, was thinking.

I HATED the ending! For me it almost ruined the whole novel. And from other reviews I’ve read on Goodreads, (https://www.goodreads.com)
that thought seems pretty universal. It all seemed so…pointless. Usually I can see/understand why an author ended a novel the way they did, but in this case I couldn’t. So much loss, devastation & ruined relationships for nothing! Would’ve been a better ending if the author created something positive out of the trial instead of more loss.

All in all, I would recommend reading Handle with Care. In fact, I’m currently finishing up this review so I can pass on my copy of the novel to my aunt for reading. Not my favorite Picoult novel (may have been if not for the ending) but it has redeemed her novels for me & showed me why I like reading her books in the first place.

*Handle with Care book trailer*
http://youtu.be/U3ZZez7qFc8

My top 10 favorite books of all time!

….Disclaimer: this list is subject to change at any given time without notice depending on my mood & not-yet-read books… 😀

So this marks my first blog post that is being done entirely on my smartphone. I’ve always seen the WordPress blog icon on my home screen, but have yet to try it. Weather outside is reminiscent of the Great Flood, so seemed like an appropriate time to try it out. Considering my blogs are usually novel length I figure typing it up on my smartphone might shorten this one up. But since I’m talking about books I have big doubts!

My friend Stephanie recently posed this question to me asking me to name my top 10 favorite books of all time. Even though she told me not to put much thought into it & just spout them off, that wasn’t likely to happen since I over-think most everything especially when having to choose “favorites” #lifedecisions 😉

After much editing I feel pretty (fairly) confident in my chosen top 10. Honorable mentions go out to: The Horse Whisperer by Nicholas Evans, Suzanne’s Diary for Nicholas by James Patterson & The Notebook by Nicholas Sparks (wow! That’s a lot of Nicholas’ in one category). They were all so close to making the list, but sadly ended up second strings. Maybe next year boys!

In no particular order:

1) The Bible, by some dude I can’t remember his name 😉– within these pages I have found comfort, answers, tears, questions, confusion, anger, sadness, forgiveness, love, joy, peace & many other emotions. All spoken to me by God himself. The living Word that I turn to almost daily.

2) The Loop by Nicholas Evans–my all-time favorite author. This is the story of a wolf biologist who is observing & monitoring a pack of wolves in the mountains of Montana & her fight against a town that wants to extinguish this pack out.

3) The Cross Gardener by Jason F. Wright. About a guy who loses his wife & unborn child in a fatal car accident. One day he takes a cross to the accident site where his wife died & meets The Cross Gardener, a guy who travels roadways caring for crosses & memorials that people have placed at loved ones accident sites.

4) The Tale of Three Trees by a Folklore– Kids book about 3 trees that each have dreams they want to grow into. Their dreams don’t turn out how they planned, but God uses them in mighty ways for His greater purpose.

5) The Pillars of the Earth & World Without End by Ken Follett–these are two seperate books about the village of Kingsbridge, England during the 1100’s-1300’s. Pillars is about the building of the Kingsbridge Cathedral & World is about the village. Be prepared to devote some time to these novels, each is about 2000 pages long!

6) Steve & Me by Terri Irwin–Terri Irwin’s autobiography chronicling her life with late husband, the Crocodile Hunter Steve Irwin. I was such a big fan of Steve & Terri even before I read this novel, but after reading it I gained even more respect. Such an adventurous life & I laughed, bawled & was humbled by this couple.

7) Black Beauty by Anna Sewell–I have read this novel so many times that I can quote lines from it. First read as a kid & broke my heart so much that it stirred in me a deep passion for animal rescue. The whole novel is told through the eyes of Beauty & you go from loved beginnings to a life of abuse & neglect. Classic that everyone should read at least once!

8) In the Presence of My Enemies by Graicia Burnham– true story of missionaries in the Philippians who are kidnapped & held hostage for several years. The grace, humility, & forgiveness that got them through their ordeal is such a testament to faith in God. After reading this novel it made me appreciate missionaries more & opened my eyes to how desperately I want to be a part of that front line of ministry.

9) Heaven is for Real by Todd Burpo– true story of Todd’s 3year old son Colton & his trip to heaven & back after he died for several minutes during a surgery. Only book I’ve ever read that I actually called in “sick” to work because I couldn’t put it down & wanted to finish (shhhh…don’t tell!). Changed & in some ways answered questions I had about what heaven’s really like. Heard Hollywood is converting this movie to the big screen, anxious to see how it transpires.

10) Where the Red Fern Grows by Wilson Rawls– another book I first read as a kid & have read countless times. Story of a boy who lives in the Ozarks during Depression-era. He saves his money to buy 2 Redbone Coonhounds & hand-trains them to be hunting dogs. Have the Kleenex in hand!

There ya go fellow book-nerds, my top 10 (as of today any ways!). I’m always on the prowl for good books so pass your suggestions my way!

Book Report: Radical by David Platt

“Jesus apparently wasn’t interested in marketing himself to the masses”

This was the first line that I had underlined in the book, “Radical” by David Platt. A book that I was roped into reading by deciding to join the 2013/14 MTI (ministry training institute) program at my local church.

This line rubbed me the wrong way & thus started a love/hate relationship with the novel.

While the author, David Platt, had a lot…A LOT of ideas & key points that I agreed with, he equally had a lot that I didn’t. For me, the over-riding tone of the novel was how arrogant the author came across to me. I wouldn’t say that I’m a defensive person; I’ve accepted my strengths & weaknesses and when they’re pointed out to me, it’s often a trait that I’ve already realized I have. But I’ve never had somebody, especially an author that I haven’t met, so “in my face” & “you’re doing Christianity wrong”. In other words, he’s telling me that I’m loving Jesus & representing him wrong.

Not a fan of that!

I will admit, I am FAR from the model Christian. And I don’t strive to be. What I do strive to be is somebody that God can be proud of & that I represent Him well. Imperfections and all. This novel made me feel that unless I’m selling all my stuff & living a nomad lifestyle, floating between society to society spreading the gospel that God will look at me one day & say, “you’ve failed me”.
And I don’t believe that to be true.

While I do agree in living with LESS & giving MORE, I don’t think that God wants us to struggle in order to help others. If we did that, then we (in turn) would be the ones struggling & would need the help. And I also agree, big time, that God does want us to travel; to get out of our comfort zone and spread the gospel, however, I don’t necessarily think we have to go to foreign countries to do that. And somebody shouldn’t feel bad about not having a calling to go on an extended Missions trip. Personally, I would LOVE to go on an international Missions trip & I know that I will one day. But I also know that plenty of people are hurting in your own country, town…family. Sometimes things don’t have to be big & extreme, sometimes you can start small with the people closest to you.

David Platt, oftentimes, came off pompous to me. And that’s exactly what he’s trying to tell us NOT to be like, his whole novel was about humbling oneself & being a servant. And I agree with that, completely. But throughout the whole novel he told us what his church was doing; how his followers were making a difference, the letters he was receiving from those that have heard him speak…his, his, his. Yeah, we get it. You’re trying to be “Radical” & it’s working in your awesome Mega-church. But how about you leave your mega-church, donate all the proceeds from your book sales & live on the $10,000 that you’re preaching most of the world lives on (which I believe to be wholeheartedly true), uproot your family & lead them into dangerous & uncharted territories. My guess is he wouldn’t do that, and who can blame him? God hasn’t called him to do that. And he shouldn’t be faulted for living a “comfortable” lifestyle & not living a life that would make people question if he was homeless. However, my impression is that he wants his church-goers & readers to do that because that’s the only way you can be a true disciple of Jesus.

And maybe he’s right. I’m very limited on my understanding of God, Jesus & the Bible. God does want us to trust Him, have faith in Him beyond measure. And I know that I, personally, struggle in that area BIG TIME. However, I don’t think I’m less of a Christian or God is disappointed in me & thinks I’m a bad disciple because I take a step back & question things. If God chooses to bless me financially where I don’t have to struggle to pay bills, then I know he’ll bless me with knowledge on how/where He wants me to spend it. But until that time comes & I don’t have to pray ferociously that my income will cover basic needs I refuse to feel guilty that I don’t give enough. The season of my life that I’m currently in, is one where I’m learning to give up control & walk in faith. This is the season that God has decided I need to be in at the moment, I don’t like it. But I accept it.

The “Radical” challenge presented I like. And I’ve been giving it a lot of thought & praying very hard over it. I have not signed it yet because I’m not sure if I can give up a year to that dedication. Again, reading the Word, praying…no issue with that at all. But the giving up money for a specific purpose/going on a “missions” trip. I just don’t know if financially I can afford to do that. And I also feel there’s things that God is still weeding out in my own life & this might not be the right time to focus on a “Radical” challenge. If he calls me to do it, then I will. If I make a commitment to accept the challenge, then I know I’ll give 100% & I have no doubts that I will see dramatic changes, however, I’m just not sure if this is the right time.

In conclusion, this book gave me tons to mull over & think about. Which is, I imagine, the author’s main point. To get us “thinking”, which he has succeeded in. Tough book to get through and even though I never threw it across the room in frustration, I did roll my eyes at some statements. At a different point in my life, this novel could really spark a positive change in me, but at this point it only sparked me feeling defensive & closed minded.

When Mockingbirds Sing by Billy Coffey

I started the novel with huge expectations. I didn’t know anything about it, but found it on Book Sneeze & thought I’d give it a try. The description sounded awesome; spiritual but with a supernatural twist. I even found a YouTube video promoting the novel & it really peaked my interest.

At first I couldn’t put the novel down! Loved it! It’s not a long read (about 330pages). The chapters are fairly short & divided up by “days” leading up to a town carnival. The main character is a child named Leah; an only child, introvert, with a stutter. The novel centers around her & her relationship with an imaginary character she’s named, “The Rainbow Man”. Through her The Rainbow Man tells her things & gets her to do things that are a little off-the-wall; she paints a picture with hidden numbers that cause a town member to win the lottery, she approaches an abusive husband at the mall & tells him things that nobody else could possibly know, etc. Every main-character in this novel is pained in some way; her father is a psychiatrist who escapes into his work, therefore, neglecting his wife & child causing problems at home, her good friend & elder, Barney is struggling to take care of his wife’s failing health, the town minister is lacking in his faith & finding it impossible that God would speak his Word through a un-“religious” child with no formal Biblical training & her best friend Allie wants to believe her friend, but when it gets personal for her, she fights with unbelief. Not to mention the town, Mattingly, is full of supporting characters each with their own demons & secrets.

After the initial excitement & allure of the first few chapters wore off, I found this novel…well, kind of boring. I hate to admit that “hearing” Leah’s stutter was a total put-off for me. She has quite a bit of dialogue in the novel (obviously) & I found it annoying the way the author wrote her lines (“It’s nuh-no-ttt-not a h-h-h-ho-hole Mr. Bu-Buh-Barney”) I know that it was used for descriptive purposes because Leah has a stutter, but it added quite a bit of un-necessary paragraphs. Seemed to take a long time for the novel to actually take off. I also didn’t like the introduction of so many sub-characters, too many to keep track off! And I got so confused when the author started talking about a town called Away, had nothing to do with the actual storyline. “The Rainbow Man” character was never really settled for me; was it God, was it an Angel, perhaps even the Devil??? I’m sure that was the author’s point, that we draw our own conclusion, but I’ve got this “thing” about wanting a novel to be “closed & finished” when I’m done reading it. I really didn’t get the whole “Rainbow Man” concept. Reverend Grogginess was an interesting character. While I did agree with some of his ideals & beliefs, he was a little to Bible-Thumping for me. If the author’s point was that through Reverend Groggins’ character people would be introduced to God I think he turned people off more than he led. Barney’s character I did really like. Every small town has that one old guy who is just a good man. Little rough around the edges, but loves the Lord & lives his life very simply. Things are black & white for Barney & I love that! The chapters that tugged at my heartstring most were the ones where he took care of his ailing & disabled wife, Mabel. During her passing, I wished the author would’ve focused more on The Rainbow Man being present at that time. He did focus on it somewhat, but it seemed a little under-developed to me (and forgetful). Leah’s dad, Tom, the town psychiatrist was an interesting guy. It’s not that I disliked his character, but I didn’t necessarily like it either. I never really understood what his deal was. For being such a main character, he seemed a little confused to me. Like the author didn’t really know what to do with him. He left me feeling a little…blah. Leah’s best friend, Allie, was cute as a button. She was the typical bubbly, funny little kid that you can’t help but fall in love with. Again, her character seemed a little undone & I wasn’t sure what the author’s intent was with her.

The storyline was weak. The big event that the whole novel alluded to (as the chapters were all labeled: Chapter 6, 4 days before the Carnival….Chapter 9, one hour before the Carnival…etc.) that I was expecting something huge to happen. It was a tornado. True, a tornado that ripped the town apart but I was left feeling a little disappointed. To be honest, the whole novel & storyline reminded me of a movie I saw a few years ago (that scared the beejeebees out of me) called the Mothman Prophesies. I just didn’t get it….

I wouldn’t recommend this book to a friend. It’s a fast read, even though it took me 7months to get through it. But mostly because it bored the snot out of me. “When Mockingbirds Sing” turned out to be a big disappointment.

Giving the Life List a Face Lift

Today’s my 33rd birthday!

I’m not quite sure what to make of my 32nd year on this planet. I wouldn’t necessarily say it was a year of “change” like last year was for me, more that this year was a year of…closure.

I saw closure in a couple of areas, some brought freedom & some brought tears (and stress). But all of it brought a finality. I closed the door on a few chapters of my life & am (learning) to open new doors of trust & opportunity. This doesn’t come easy for me.

Recently one of my favorite people on this planet (ego-boost to her!) Pastor Heidi Strickler wrote a blog about her vision for Women’s Ministry at our church, Oasis (http://livinglovedlivingfree.wordpress.com/2013/07/26/oasis-making-time-to-sit-on-the-curb/) & how it came to fruition after the idea first appeared on her top 10 list. This, of course, got me reviewing & revamping my own Life List; something I first started working on when I was 16.  My Life List would contain the top 100 things that I wanted to accomplish/do/see/invent/visit with my time allotted on this planet. As of today, my list has 73 items & I’ve checked off 34 of them. Not to bad! If I was better at math I’d figure out the percentage or do a pie chart (mostly because I like to make things colorful & pretty), to fluff up the completed items. Heidi’s list, however, only contained 10….10. 10 seemed like such a small number to me. 10 things that you REALLY wanted to accomplish during your life…in the course of your WHOLE life??? Only 10??? Now that seemed to be unrealistic to me, to have to narrow down my potential 100 to only 10. I could NEVER do that!

But then I couldn’t stop thinking about it.

I’ve reviewed my Life List more in the last few days & weeks than I have in the 17 years since I first started keeping it.

Once I started looking over my Life List & questioning if I really thought my life wouldn’t be of value unless I visited New York City at Christmas time (#23) or if my life would be considered a waste if I didn’t attend a taping of a movie or television show (#47). The answer was a definite NO!

While I’d love to see Paul McCartney in concert (#6) & a dream would be to see whales swimming in their natural oceanic habitat (#17…of course, that also involves my get over water fear, #4. Double-check-off-whammy!), am I really going to think of my life as stamped with “Failed” if those don’t happen?

NO!

I started narrowing my list down to things I felt I HAD to do & that was when I realized that nothing on my Life List I HAD to do because in the grand scheme of my whole life, none of those petty things matter!

What I ended up doing was a top 10 list that didn’t include anything on my original Life List (except travel to Africa on a missions trip). In fact, it ended up not even being a list of things to “do”, but a list of what I want to be known for; how I want to be remembered because of the way my life was LIVED & not from items checked off. Even though it does include things I hope to accomplish, those things are not active/physical things, but spiritual things. When my time on earth is over & I stand before God, I want to be able to stand before him with a clear conscious knowing that I represented Him & the family I came from, well. Surprisingly, what began as being a little overwhelming with deciding to narrow down 100 items to 10, I ended up rattling off my Top 10 in about 5 minutes; after I realized that what I wanted to do with my life wasn’t “stuff” but a “legacy” that’s left.

This is a very fitting lesson for me right now.

I can feel God doing something in my life. Something big that He’s working on. I’m not saying this to be pompous or to elevate my ego, but I can tell he is. Just from what he’s working on in my life; the bondage being broken, the “issues” I’ve had to work on & through. And from past experience in learning to recognize His direction & voice more & more (even when I think it’s not there!) its guiding me away from my comfort zone. I’m learning that God doesn’t like me “comfortable” & every time I start to get “comfortable” He begins to make me “uncomfortable”. This isn’t a bad thing & I’m finally at the point in my life where I don’t view it as a bad thing. Change is good! And when its God-Change you can move forward in confidence that its going to turn out great. I don’t know what adventure he has me moving towards, but I know that I’m not where He wants me to stay. And I’m okay with that…well, semi-okay 😉

I’m not quite sure what send-off to give my Life List, its been deeply personal to me for almost  20 years. But now I feel like it’s constricting; a road map with specific destinations & that’s not what I want in the next leg of my journey. Just tossing it in the trash or shredding it seems to diminish the important significance its had in my life, but I know if I keep it I’ll fall into the same old trap of fulfilling the desire to check things off (fellow obsessive List Makers will understand).

Even though I’m pretty open & try to not keep things hidden, my Top Ten is probably the most personal thing I’ve ever written for myself. So personal that I won’t even share it in my blog. Nothing against you lovely readers (whom I love & appreciate) but its something that is between me & God. I’m hoping that when he created me, this list is what his intentions for my life were. It’s a list that I’ve prayed over & asked Him to let me know if anything on the list is something that I should not focus on & so far nothing has been brought to my attention. It just feels right!

I come into my 33rd year full of expectancy, hope & faith that this is my “peace & settling” year.

Book Report: The Secret Life of Bees…

Since I’m currently computer-less at home my posts make lack the usual “flair” they usually do. My computer went to the big computer heaven in the sky several weeks ago & I’ve disconnected my internet at home, trying to reduce my dependency on social networking (at least for the summer months). After a bought of not even having a cell phone for a few days (when my cell-phone decided to follow my computer into another dimension, needless to say that was quickly remedied) I’m finding out this may be a looooong summer on the homestead!

The Secret Life of Bees

By Sue Monk Kidd

Overall I enjoyed this novel, but it teeters on the line between 3 & 4 stars for me.

I saw the movie based on the novel several years ago & while I really enjoyed the movie I had heard so many positive reviews about the novel & several friends recommended this book to me that naturally I put off reading it as long as possible. You see, I’m kind of an book snob when it comes to popular mainstream novels ( with the exception of The Hunger Games trilogy) most leave me with a big disappointment & feels of, “really???” when those big expectations are not met. It’s the overly critical & judgmental part of my personality shining through. I found, “The Secret Life of Bees” at a thrift store for less than $1 & figured it was time to check it off my Goodreads reading list.

Set in segregated & racist South Carolina during the early 1960’s, it’s the story of teenage Lily Owens, who grew up motherless with an abusive father. After her “stand-in-mother” Rosaleen; an African-American female winds up in jail for spitting on the shoes of the town racist, Lily decides to break Rosaleen out of jail & together they run away. Following the label of an old honey-jar that belonged to her deceased mother, they end up in Tiburon, SC on the doorstep of the 3 Boatwright sisters, who make their living as beekeepers selling Black Madonna Honey. Lily & Rosaleen in grain themselves into the lives of these sisters, their friends, & neighbors. Its set against the tone of beekeeping as a profession with each chapter offering a real-life fact on bees & their social colonies (which I adored, favorite parts of the novel).

“The whole fabric of honey bee society depends on communication;  an innate ability to send and receive messages, to encode and decode information.”

-The Honey Bee-

The whole novel surrounds Lily Owens & her quest to discover who her mother was & to relinquish her own guilt (or to find out if she did, in fact) accidentally kill her mother when she was a small child. We later learn that her mother had spent time in Tiburon & the reasons she had visited, left, & her relationships with the Boatwright sisters.

Since I’m a nature-buff & I’ve looked into keeping my own beehives, the parts of the novel I loved the most were the parts about beekeeping. I fell in love with the character of August Boatwright, the eldest of the sisters, & if the whole novel was just about her wisdom of beekeeping I probably would’ve LOVED this novel. She was about the only character in the novel that I really liked (which I’m sure is the author’s main intention anyways). I enjoyed her life-stories & how she related them to beekeeping. May, I thought, was annoying with her constant tantrums & the way she was babied by everyone else (I know she was mentally handicapped & had been through her own emotional trials, but it was still annoying). Lily was…well…a typical teenage girl, high-drama & all (but I did think the love interest with Zach was uber-adorable). June & Rosaleen were interesting as secondary characters, even though I think Rosaleen’s character should’ve been more developed since she had a pretty major role throughout the novel.

I would definitely recommend this book for a quick summer read. I loved the little life-tidbits that were stuck in the most obscure of spots:

“J-Jesus, O-Others, Y-Yourself. This is the correct order for life and if you follow it, you will have JOY.”

“After you get stung, you can’t get unstung no matter how much you whine about it.”

And many more little gems like that!

Like I said earlier, overall I really enjoyed it, however, it wouldn’t be one that I’d ever pick up to read again. My problem is that I need to just stay away from really popular books, they always seem to fall flat in my expectations. It’s a read that’s worth it if you even have a tiny interest in beekeeping as a hobby because its chock-full of tips & factual info on keeping hives, otherwise, I’d say skip the novel & Netflix the movie; it contained more of the “storyline” & less of the information on beekeeping.

 

Book Report: Heaven Changes Everything by Todd & Sonja Burpo

*Living Every Day with Eternity in Mind*

It’s hard to review a devotional objectively. It’s something very personal & what speaks to you is going to be different than what speaks to another reader. But here goes

I had read, “Heaven is for Real” a few years ago. I remember the exact moment I found it at the store. I had never heard of the book & was actually shopping for a Joyce Meyer book that was on my reading list. I picked up Heaven is for Real, read the description on the back; thought it sounded interesting & then shelved it. Throughout the rest of my shopping trip my mind kept going back to that book that eventually (mainly to silence the nags) I put it in my shopping cart & cashed out. I started it almost immediately & it was instrumental in changing  (and confirming) my view on heaven. At the time I read it, my Grandma was battling stage-4 cancer & upon her death the chapters & words in that book were such a comfort to me. She was a strong woman of faith & I know the riches of heaven fell upon her & that we will be reunited again and that fills me with healing. I’ve since passed the book on to others & have recommended it to countless people.

It took me awhile to get through Heaven Changes Everything (over 6months) not because it was bad, but because of LIFE. I had read other devotionals in between, read other novels, but every time I picked up this specific book the messages were very tailored to what I was currently going through; questions on my mind, troubles that were heavy on my shoulders. So I feel like God was telling me to take this devotional very, very, slowly to let it sink in (on average, I’m a speedy reader). Usually I’d find myself crying over the words I was reading & sighing over how “spot on” it felt to read what I was feeling. And I’ll be honest, it led to some frustration because I didn’t want to change my thinking or behavior about some subjects the author suggested needed changed (hey, God made me stubborn so “technically” its His fault, right? Haha!)

Heaven Changes Everything is obviously set up a little differently since it is a devotional & not a narrative. For starters, its written by Todd & Sonja Burpo (Colton’s parents) who alternate chapters (which I liked) each giving their own viewpoint & spin on the subject of the chapter. You definitely would be able to use this book for a Bible Study since it does pose group discussion questions & has countless passages of scripture to study, memorize & discuss. Like I do with all devotionals, I went after it with a “college” mentality. You wouldn’t want to borrow my copy because its highlighted, underlined in pen, things are starred & my personal thoughts are wrote in the margins. You’d finish my copy more confused than when you started! Flipping through the book even now, there’s so many good chapters that I don’t even know where to start! Todd & Sonja (obviously) center the book around their take on Colton’s (their middle-son) near-death experience; visit to heaven & then return to earth. They give their viewpoints on what happened “behind the scenes” & how their lives have changed post-publishing of his novel, “Heaven is for Real”. What I also like was they touched on a little bit of everything; their marriage, their struggles, parenting, balancing careers & of course, their personal views on God & faith.

Since I can’t go chapter by chapter (its not a big book, but it would take awhile & the weather’s to nice to be indoors all day typing on the computer *wink wink*) I’ve picked a couple chapters that really spoke to me:

Chapter 9: “A Mixture of Faith & Doubt” told from the viewpoint of Todd. It’s about how you can be a person of Faith & still Doubt. I know I can relate to that. I don’t know how many countless times I’ve prayed for something & then took matters into my own hands because God was moving to slow (you’d think by now I would have learned my lesson & realize I do more damage than good!). Todd writes, “So you’re struggling. God understands. He knows you can’t see what’s waiting for you around the corner-not to mention next week or next year. But God is good at working with strugglers. Pray, “help me believe”. Even though he’s a Pastor; a man people look up to for spiritual guidance, he still struggled with doubt when doctor’s reported his son would not survive.

Chapter 23: “Imagine Being Held by Jesus”. This chapter really got to be. In this chapter, Todd remembers the moment when he was in the hospital chapel; alone, spewing forth hateful & angry words to God, so fearful that he may lose his son-didn’t understand why & God seemed to be silent. Upon Colton’s “return to earth” he tells Todd that he saw him in the chapel, crying & angry. “yeah, Jesus was there too.”…..”well, where was Jesus?”….Colton looked me right in the eye. ‘I was sitting in Jesus’ lap.’”….I was hiding out in the empty hospital room, raging at God for bringing my son so close to death-furious at the very One who at that moment, unknown to me, was holding my son in his arms. Quite the contrast, isn’t it?”. For me personally, I don’t know how many times I’ve gotten angry at God for his silence (what I view as silence) when he’s got something so much bigger intended for me. “But at the same time I try to remember that God has a plan for my life-a plan that ends in heaven-and whatever is happening to me right now is part of that plan.”

Countless other thoughts jump out at me throughout this devotional, “There are things God allows to happen because he knows the outcome is going to be greater than anything we could ever do on our own.”,”Children’s simple prayers fall as sweetly on God’s ears as they do on ours.”, “there is blessedness in brokenness. God uses broken people.” & “stand without wavering. Stand without apology. Stand confidently & say, ‘I know who Jesus is, and this is what he has done for me.’”

This is not a hard devotional at all & I recommend it for any beginner who is new in their walk with the Lord. It’ll get your feet wet as far as getting in the Word & reading the Bible, its full of personal opinion & testimonials rather than a lot of Bible-scripture-reading. However, even if you’re dedicated & like those in-depth devotionals this works as well, you can back up the author’s points & key-notes with Bible scriptures that reference it. Any way you look at it, the fact is; it’s just a good clean read & I highly recommend adding it to any reading list.

The closing paragraph of the book just warms me: “I love thinking about being so glad, and so grateful, to see Jesus that I spontaneously fall down on my knees before him. And I know he’ll be glad to see me. In fact, he’s been praying that I would join him there. He’s praying you’ll join him there too. Please don’t disappoint him. He’s waiting for you in heaven. And that changes everything.” What a great feeling to think that the Lord is praying to spend time with you! That’s something to hold onto when you’re feeling challenged, stressed, & overwhelmed. The Lord is praying that you’ll talk to him & spend time with him.

How fantastic of a thought is that???

How will you react????

 

 

 

Book Report: "Thurston House" by Danielle Steel

This is my um-teenth D.S. novel I’ve read to date, some I’ve liked…some I’ve hated. This one I liked. Really liked. This may be a front-runner for one of my favorites of her novels.

Thurston House is the story of Jeremiah Thurston & the legacy that he built. It’s divided into 3 different “books”. I’m a sucker for a good, epic, Historical-fiction novel & this one fit the bill. At over 500pages, it’ll take you awhile to get through, but it will hold your interest.

Book 1 introduces you to Jeremiah Thurston; Napa Valley, CA, 1860. She opens the novel with laying down the foundation that the rest of the epic is built upon. Thurston is a small-time owner of a quicksilver mine beginning his life with his young bride. A lost-battle with influenza takes the life of his bride & he spends the next several decades in bachelor-dom, building up his mining empire. Alone with his housekeeper (Hannah), she becomes the mother-figure he never had & she, in turn, becomes a pivotal character in the novel. On a cross-country train ride to Atlanta, middle-aged Thurston meets Amelia & falls immediately in-love, however, its not reciprocated & a strong friendship is built that, also, transpires throughout the rest of the novel. Once in Atlanta, he meets the (very) young , 17year old Camilia Beauchamp & she quickly becomes his wife.

Now I LOVE a good villain in a novel…love them! I have a weakness for nastiness, debauchery, bitchiness, arrogance, vile, great villain characters (no surprise my favorite movie characters are; Wicked Witch of the West, the Evil Queen in Snow White, Cruella DeVille from 101 Dalmatians. They just make things “interesting” *insert maniacal “wa-ha-ha” laugh*). Camille definitely falls under the category of “villain”. Evil! Right from the beginning she weaseled her way into Jeremiah’s heart (as only a young girl can do to a middle-aged man), he’s beyond loaded with money & she is the quintessential “gold-digger”. He even had clues prior to the wedding that she had ulterior motives, but chose to ignore them. Being so young, he knew she’d never be happy living in the very desolate country-lifestyle that was Napa Valley at the turn of the century, so he built her a grand house, “Thurston House” in San Francisco; at the time it was marveled as being the grandest house in the country, comparable to the Castles of Europe. After the wedding, she made his life miserable, as well as, the life of his staff & friends. Even though Danielle Steele emphasizes what a “victim” Thurston is to Camille, my sympathies were limited towards him. There was moments of abuse, he raped her (which resulted in her pregnancy, something she was adamantly against. But he thought she’d grow out of that mindset), eventually she cheated & left him to move to Paris. He never divorced her (so you knew she was going to show up later in the novel with more malicious intent) & raised his daughter, Sabrina, to believe she had died when Sabrina was a baby.

Books 2 &3 are about Sabrina’s early & later years. I really, really liked what Danielle Steel did with this character. Talk about a ball-buster! Thurston mines are beyond booming & grape vineyards are added into the mix. Biggest mining-industry in the country, rivaled only to that by their arch-rival the Harte mines. The first few chapters are about Sabrina coming-of-age as a late teenager & when her father unexpectedly passes away, Sabrina takes on the challenge of managing the mines & vineyards. This is pre-WW1 era, she’s a female & is 18 to boot. Needless to say, she had to grow a huge pair! I loved the chapters how she toughened up & had to fight her way to keep her father’s business afloat. It was no surprise that, eventually, she fell in love with the owner of her arch-rival, John Harte, married & settled into a more relaxed life with her running the vineyards (her real passion) & him running the mines. They have a child together, Jonathan, but she once again finds herself alone when John dies tragically in a train accident.

She raises John, as I imagine any child in that situation would be raised, as spoiled ROTTEN. He’s showing the same character traits of  Camille & Steel brilliantly brought her character back to life through Jonathon (although, spoiling him obsessively to make up for Sabrina’s lack of being involved in his life probably didn’t help!), eventually through a series of events Jonathon (as an adult) is introduced to Camille, realizes it is his Grandma & connivingly brings her back into Thurston House to take over Sabrina’s life & money (because he’s mad his mom didn’t buy him a new car). I wish that part of the story would’ve drug out longer because I really enjoyed it, but it only lasted a few chapters.

During Book 3, Sabrina loses the mines, is forced to sell most of her belongings & is only able to hold onto the vineyards, which she only manages to stay afloat when she’s introduced to Andre & Antoine; father & son wine-makers from France who help build up her wine-empire. Eventually, she marries Andre & they have a daughter together, Dominique.

Plenty of secondary-characters are throughout this novel: Mary Ellen, Spring Moon, Dan Richfield, Hannah, Amelia, & Arden whom are all instrumental in the shaping of events. Typical Danielle Steel style, she uses the backdrop of history to give a personal feel to the story; WW1 & 2, the Great Depression, the California Gold-Rush & hot debatable topics; domestic abuse, rape, women’s rights, abortion, even religion & divorce. When you mix that with late 19th/early 20th century ideals it can create an interesting story!

I definitely recommend this novel, even if you’re not a Danielle Steel fan (it does have some romance) it’s a heavy book & not necessarily a light read. Its full of lots of history & hot debatable topics. It’ll piss you off, it’ll make you smile, & some parts will make you laugh at the absurdity of that time-period’s thinking. It’s one of her early ones (circa 1985), but still a good find for me (.99 at a used-bookstore…score!).